SO You've Fallen Into The RealWorld
by bee3
Summary: Let this book be the first to welcome you into your new reality. Please note Guns need licenses, all giant robots must be
1. Chapter One: Buying This Book

Disclaimer: i own this one! bwahahahahaha  
  
but not the anime/references to anime that appear in it  
*sigh*  
okay since we're not allowed to do lists anymore *glares* this will have to be written in a self-help book style -.-;   
  
anyway on with the show (max i promise i'll write up the next chapter for the laptop soon i just... need to get the matrix on dvd... and ... get some more inspiration)  
SO You've Fallen Into The Real-World (not the mtv show!)  
  
by bee  
Konnichi wa, Ohayoo, Guten Tag!, Bon jour and Welcome!  
  
Let this book be the first to welcome you into your new reality. Please note Guns need licenses, all giant robots must be hidden upon arrival, swords are for decoration only, magical powers are NOT to be used in public, "subspace" pockets do not it exist and the only acceptable reason for hitting someone on the head with a mallet is if they are attacking you.  
  
So your an anime character and you've fallen into the real world huh? people been giving your hair and actions strange looks?  
  
No no don't worry!  
(and shooting/burning/ripping up this book won't help. Yes i'm talking to YOU! Put down that lighter/gun now.. NOW GODDAMIT!) This book is here to hep you sort out that issue and hopefully to keep you alive.... i mean sane..... i mean safe until you can find away back home.  
  
lets begin by finding out how you got this book.  
  
Did a random girl/guy that screamed/shouted your name and "glomped"/hugged/attached/tried to do certain things to you give you this book?   
(even if it was a mob please state "yes")  
  
Congratulations! You have met your first Fan, it can be counted on that they will tell their friends who will tell their friends who will tell their friends about you and you will soon have you very own private fanclub/ load of groupies following you round and offering you variations of things   
  
(please decline all offers except food and drink but even then have someone else tats them first! These people are ruthless and will stop and nothing to bed... kiddnap... "help" you)   
  
NB: if you broke into a shop and/or are holding someone at gunpoint whilst reading this apologise for you lack of sanity and say that its only a toy gun before giving them the price of this book and walking away slowly then running as soon as you turn a corner.  
  
This concludes chapter one. Please turn over for Working out potential friends/ enemies and figuring out how you got here.... 


	2. Chapter Two: Friends Romans and Countrym...

Disclaimer: nope still not owning it  
  
hurrah for my review ^^  
Chapter Two: "Friends, Romans and Country Men, How Did I Get Here?" - The Eternal Conumdrum.  
So you are now stood in a private place reading this book?  
(NB: standing is not compulsory)   
Now would be a good time to dispose of any weapons/firearms/magicwands/strange animals/mechas that accompany you.  
  
Please note where you left them as people from THIS reality and magical objects/animals/weapons/mechas(including hardsuits and huge great shiny rocks that are actually dragon hearts) do not mix well and although you might have returned to your own universe safe and sound in the knowledge that you can make/find/buy a new one. we will be reluctant to destroy it because of many reasons.  
  
Well, So you've got a fan group all intent on maki... wanting to be your se... becoming your lov... becoming your best friend? This can simply be resolved. Tell them that your significant other has fallen into this reality too and is searching for you and that they will beat you up if you try anything unless of course you want to (which is highly unlikely. but please remember the golden rule of "always get the young mans name and address" and in this case the name of his universe aswell  
  
(please note that only women can really use this men will just sound like sissy's)  
  
Men may have a harder time of resisting temptations just remember they know everything about you every little thing you did with a child and have probably read stories you don't even want to THINK about. Another alternative is to attach yourself to your partner constantly, this will help improve your relationship AND help keep away any competition.  
But we still need to find out how you got here if the answer is yes to any of the following questions you may have found out how/why you landed here if not then, to put it simply, your totally screwed.  
  
Did a huge whirling votex surround you and/or your companions and make you black out and when you woke up you were here?  
  
Did you find a giant ring of strange metal that had "chevrons" on it that moved and you just simply *had* to go through and see what was on the other side wneh an "event horison" appeared?  
  
It Was All Just A Dream, Or Vision Maybe, But No Its Real!?  
  
You fell asleep you woke up and you were here?  
  
Some strange anciet magic/magical artifact went horribly wrong and "transported" you here?  
  
some weird random girl/guy appeared with a thing they called a "pokeball/digivice/clow(or sakura) card/ soul card" and captured you in it for no reason and with no real effort?  
Well that sort sout how you got here, If your specific problem does not appear on this page please write to the editors and we will have it inserted for future references.  
  
Please continue to Chapter Three: Survival of the Fittest 


End file.
